Our first child… what my husband, Curt, and I thought would be our first little blessing to grow our family… our surprise “we are thankful for” we shared at Thanksgiving… yet a week later the doctor can no longer find a heartbeat…

When we thought our life was blossoming, we felt like the bloom faded before we could savor its beauty… Her beauty… our Serenity.

My husband and I struggled… life felt empty. One Sunday at church, a lady passed me a brochure of M.E.N.D. As I read the brochure and looked at the website, I thought at first support groups were not for me. Yet I continued to struggle. I finally emailed the Chapter Director. That email conversation helped me realize there are people out there who “get it” – all the emotions, questions, fears … everything. At that point, I decided I really did need support.

I told my husband I could not go on my own, and he said “if you need this, I’ll go with you.” I cried through the first support group – not a word, just cried. At later ones I was able to share more of my struggles and found comfort either through an “I’ve been there,” advice or even if just a listening ear.

The Chapter Director’s husband also came that night we attended, and he shared the advice with all the men who attended: “you can’t fix this or her, but you can grieve with her.” That phrase was what Curt needed to hear.

My husband and I continued to attend the support groups together to talk through our struggles as we sought our new “normal” and to remember our baby with others who also “got it.”

We continued to be part of M.E.N.D. throughout the years in our local Southwest Missouri chapter and through my role as the Magazine Editor. I am now blessed to be the Chapter Director to bring comfort to hurting families just as we received in those early months and years.

We still have times we grieve, yet we do not grieve alone, and we know grief is only this side of heaven until we are reunited with Serenity.